From: Ray

You ever meet someone who just seemed wonderful? It's not a romantic or sexual thing, just a personal connection - someone you can really relate to. Have you ever wondered how they would feel about you if they knew you were an atheist? Shit. I'm so tired of this. Another friendship down the crapper. Oh, we're still friends. But the connection is gone. All the myths about morality came up. Science was dismissed as unreliable and mere opinion. She feels sorry for me, because I am missing out on so much of real life. How many times? And how many more to come? When did integrity become a crime? I know that many people hide their atheism to avoid this kind of thing. I did it myself for years. I just don't have the stomach for it anymore. If a friend cannot accept me unless I pretend to be something I'm not, they're not much of a friend. And yet, some of them seem like they would be such good friends, if only I were this thing I am not - if only I could turn my back on reality and embrace feel-good emotions and wishful thinking. I just can't do it. I can't walk away from the world of the real. I can't pretend that there is some benevolent super-friend watching everything and absolving me of responsibility. The fact that reality is sometimes ugly doesn't make it any less real. But the real world is lonely sometimes. I get complaints all the time that I'm too 'in your face' with my atheism. But it hurts less that way. If my atheism is going to cost me a friend, I would rather know it sooner than later. I refuse to be ashamed of having the courage to look the world straight in the face. I cannot regret having taken the time to understand my own convictions - and revise them where necessary. I will not apologize for believing things with mountains of proof behind them and dismissing things with none. But I am so very sorry that there are so few like me. Earlier today, I was told that I must ask GOD's forgiveness for my pride. I am proud. I have worked hard to be the man I am. It has not been easy. It is not easy still. But I feel no need for forgiveness. I am aware of no crime. There has been punishment in good measure, but where is the crime? Is it my conviction? Conviction doesn't appear to be a crime when supporting myths. Why should it be a crime when defending science? Is it my integrity? Christians claim it is wrong to hide what you are. Well, unless you're an atheist. It always seems to come back to pride. Why should I be ashamed to be an atheist? And if I am not ashamed, should I not be proud? If pride is automatically a sin, why are Christians so proud of their Christianity? Pride is indeed the sin causing the problem, but not my pride. My pride is not so fragile that it cannot withstand criticism. It is the pride of the Christian that is offended that I do not share their beliefs. It is their pride that causes problems, not mine. But I am punished for it, yet again. There are so many holes in my heart from lost friendships. How wonderful it would be if there really were some magical super-friend to fill those holes and stop the ache of loneliness. But my childhood is long gone, and fairy tales left with it. The real world is all there is, even when it sucks. It's not easy to face reality without flinching, and my pride has been hard earned. I'm an Atheist. If you don't like it, bite me.

This was posted as a blog on myspace, click here, to read the original posts and see several comments.