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The first thing you have to remember is that the best time to pray to
Jesus is on an unhurried day (the time when Jesus isn't inundated with people
wanting something from him). The best time to pray is just after you wake
up and before you have your first cup of coffee, and then at night, just
before you fall asleep. This is when Jesus can pay more attention to your
prayers as this is when most people fall asleep. Always remember, if you
want to be heard you have to pray very loud otherwise he might not hear
you.

You have to realize that after 2000 years of hearing people's prayers,
Jesus is a little deaf. I suspect the reason that those who prayed to Jesus and
did not get what they prayed for was because they prayed either in a
whisper or silently. How do you expect him to hear you when you pray silently?
Now the problem is compounded since there are a billion Christians all
praying at the same time and all that noise can be deafening. Moreover, he has to
remember what each one of those billions of Christians prayed for in
order for it to occur or not. It is not easy to remember what all those people
wanted (Jews and Moslems will be dealt with in another paper).

It would be logical if some prayers get confused and people got what they
did not want, like one lady who wanted children and could not have them,
and the women who did not want children and was pregnant every time she took
her panties off. With all of the demands on Jesus' time, many people got what
was meant for someone else.

Whatever is prayed for, unfortunately, cannot be exchanged. Jesus cannot
undo what has been done. Some people claim that if you can figure out a
magic formula Jesus will answer their prayers and he will give them
special privileges; each denomination of Christianity claims it has that formula.
It is up to you to figure out what is the correct formula to Jesus' ear.

Some people promise Jesus that they will do or will not do a certain
thing if he answers their prayers. It is well known that after people get their
prayers answered many default on their promises. There is one other
slight problem that Jesus has, and this is language. You have to learn the
language that he understands. Some claim it is English and some say it is
Spanish, while others claim it is French and some say it is yidish. Some
say it is a lost language. It is well known that there are thousands of
different languages as well as dialects from the tropics of African to
the snow-covered North Pole. So, what language does Jesus understand?